Breaking Patterns

(5 min read)

 But first....a personal example:

 As I sit here on Sunday of the September long weekend, catching up on business things I paused while away in August, I am noticing a pattern that has been coming up since my last client left on Friday.

For as long as I can remember, long weekends, especially in the summer, are for adventure, camping, being at the lake, or escaping the city. They are a bonus free day, a chance to enjoy time off without taking a holiday.

This started in childhood, camping with my family, and continued into adulthood in Alberta, where I felt I had to get to the mountains. But long weekends in the mountains and parks are crowded and stressful, even if you are lucky enough to get a camping permit.

Please do not take offense if you are enjoying an incredible long weekend, but this is a pattern connected to FOMO that has been coming up for me lately, and especially this weekend, that I am choosing to step into.

Over the past couple of years, as a business owner, I have started working on the holiday itself and taking another day off later in the month. This is a win win. Clients appreciate being able to come in on their day off, and the day in lieu gives me the freedom to enjoy adventures on a quieter, less crowded day.

Even so, feelings surface that I am ruining my weekend, that I should be out in nature, and that I am missing out. More than once, I have been tempted to take my paddleboard down the Bow, head to crown land to camp, or just sit in a mountain river. Social media does not help, with stories from years past tempting me with epic adventures.

This weekend I am choosing me, intentionally recharging while catching up on house and business chores instead of packing up my car and heading out. Recognizing this pattern, the pressure to always do it all on long weekends, gives me the power to choose differently, honor my own needs, and redefine what a truly fulfilling weekend looks like. Even though it feels uncomfortable now, I know I will be grateful for this choice, and there will be other weekends and other adventures.

What is a pattern? How do you break it? Why would you want to?

Patterns are unconscious habits shaped by our beliefs that guide how we think, feel, and behave. Some are supportive, like brushing our teeth or washing our hair. Others can hold us back, such as codependency, self-sabotage, people pleasing, perfectionism, or chronic FOMO.

A pattern can be defined as a repeated sequence or a learned way of reacting to situations we are presented with. Patterns become wired in our brain through repetition, reinforcement, and associations. They are not inherently bad. They are the mind's way of creating efficiency and safety in our lives.We learn them from our environment, observing the consequences of actions and the behaviors modeled by family, friends, and caregivers.

How do you break a pattern?

Breaking a pattern starts with noticing it and realize there is something you want to change. You cannot change what you do not see. Pay attention to your automatic responses and become aware of triggers or situations where the pattern shows up.

Pause at the choice point. This might be a recurring situation, like a family dinner or a request to work late.  Take a moment to pause and observe yourself making the decision. This does not mean you will immediately make a new decision, but noticing yourself is the start. Observe your usual response without judgment. Reflect on it and consider a different choice or response when presented with this situation. Journalling can help you process and solidify this awareness.

Next time the situation arises, pause, take a deep breath, and consider your automatic response, the pattern that would normally guide you. Then step into the discomfort of making a new decision. You may feel scared or nervous, but once the initial fear passes, you will feel proud. Reflect or journal about it again. Each time you make the new choice, it becomes a little easier and less uncomfortable.

Try this:

During the moment of pause, take a few deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Drop your awareness from your head into your heart and tap into what would be most supportive for you. By making a different choice, you are saying yes to yourself and your soul's higher desire.

Deeper learning:

If you are interested in healing, consider where the pattern came from. Was it a response learned from your parents, or a choice you made when you were younger because it felt safer? There is an invitation to sit with it and journal, exploring the root of how and why it was created.

Why break a pattern?

Breaking a detrimental pattern is not just about stopping a behavior. It is about reclaiming your power and ability to choose in life. Patterns can limit creativity, drain your energy and restrict relationships. By choosing differently, you create healthier connections with yourself and others, and the opportunity to live with more freedom and purpose.

Patterns as gifts:

Even the most frustrating patterns carry hidden lessons. They reveal where your boundaries or ability to honour self can be strengthened. See patterns as opportunities and doorways to step through, rather than obstacles to avoid.

I would love to hear from you. What pattern have you noticed in your life, and what step are you willing to take to shift it? Sharing your experiences not only strengthens your own awareness but also inspires others who may be navigating similar journeys.